A letter to Santa


Dear Santa Claws,

We’ve tried so hard to be good kitties this year! Goldy has been a perfect angel cat, and Squirt, well, Squirt could have been bad so many more times. So please, Santa, please visit our house and bring us the following…

  • a six-pack of pansies for Squirt’s chewing pleasure
  • a few goldyfinches to amuse us at our window
  • a whole cup of yogurt just for Goldy!
  • a two-way mirror so that the bird-birds can’t see us as we pounce at the window :)
  • catnip, as much as will fit in your sleigh
  • an eraser. Aaron knows why!
  • convince Mum-mum to serve ham for Christmas dinner
  • a coffee table for the family room, for our lounging convenience
  • freshly laundered (or at least air-fluffed) sheets, every day, thoughtfully placed near the front window birdfeeder
  • a maid, who will feed us (but not touch us!) at 2:30 sharp each afternoon (that’s 6:00 GST, Goldy’s Stomach Time).
  • a cat-door to the porch, so that we can go outside whenever we want
  • a year-round Christmas tree (great hiding places shouldn’t be limited to just one month a year)
  • for the vacuum cleaner to have a mysterious, unfortunate accident that renders it completely unfunctional

We promise to be very good and to leave out cat milk and canned food (if Rich will let us) for you on Christmas Eve. Just please don’t scare away any birds when you land your sleigh on our roof.

Goldilocks and Squirt

P.S. Santa (this is Goldy writing now, after Squirt went to bed) – could you also bring a kitty straitjacket? In Squirt’s size? Thanks!